Tag Archives: Self Empowerment

Disappointment promotes Courage

disappointment affects us all
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Disappointment makes us downhearted

Disappointment makes us downhearted

When we are faced with disappointment we usually get discouraged. Recently there was a question posed on disappointment as to which of two extremely unfortunate scenarios would make you more disappointed. The scenarios were something like this: getting a failing grade after studying so hard, having your ATM thieved after saving for one month for that special present for your girlfriend, and being educated at a top university then sitting home unemployed.

Every situation described above would dishearten and disappoint me and probably you too; my typical reaction would be: anger, sadness, then, at times, helplessness. This creates clouds of haze, confusion, and uneasiness in my body that interfere in my thinking, my emotional output, and my physical output. At these times I will be moody, uncoordinated, and temperamental. Maybe you share a degree of these symptoms, maybe not; but if this is a version of what you would go through I would like to share my revelation.

Don't let your disappointment discourage you

Don’t let your disappointment discourage you

Staying on the negative, ruminating on the disappointment will discourage, dishearten, upset, and debilitate you. What I am experiencing and experimenting with (when I can) is instead of dwelling on the bad shift your mindset quickly to how you can change the bad to good. What this does is it allows you to bypass all of that negativity and let you live your life. Though this sounds like a cliché, it’s true. I noticed that when something goes awry: does not meet my expectation, does not go according to plan, or fails to produce the outcome I am looking for I get disappointed and upset. If instead of dwelling on the why, the blame, or the frustration, I divert my mind to focusing on something else I come up with a solution that much quicker. I just bypassed all the negativity and blockages that would have manifested and came up with a solution while ‘smelling the roses.’

Don't let your disappointment disturb your attempts at success

Don’t let your disappointment disturb your attempts at success

When we get an outcome that does not match our expectation we get disappointed and then discouraged. Getting a C instead of the A we had our hopes on, not being selected for the promotion we worked so hard for, being discarded by the boy we tried so hard to impress, or not being able to buy that car we saved 3 years’ salary for are examples of situations that cause disappointment. If we are not careful this can quickly lead to discouragement and negativity. If instead of dwelling on the disappointment we take this step of failure as a learning experience, you can view disappointments that were once discouraging as encouraging.

disappointment affects us all

Disappointment affects us all

Life is a journey meant for the experience, and because we get so caught up in materiality: wanting the most money, the newest gadget, the most popularity, or the best appraisal we often forget the meaning and purpose of this journey. Changing our view on disappointment and taking a step back allows us to enjoy the experience instead of getting caught up in it.

It is difficult to change your attitude, very difficult in my case, but if I can do it you can too. Try not to dwell in your disappointment: divert your focus and once your mind frees itself from any negative energy go back to the disappointment and see how your next attempt may lead to a different outcome. Let your disappointments become forms of encouragement instead of discouragement and try again until you get it right. Don’t get disheartened; the most courageous people learn from mistakes.

couage is the 1/32 success story who will try despite rejection, disappointment, or humiliation

Courage is the 1/32 success story who will try despite rejection, disappointment, or humiliation

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Failures lead to Success

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Don't let failure make you feel defeated

Don’t let failure make you feel defeated

There is a famous quote I quoted on my senior page by Paul Coelho that goes “You are not defeated when you lose. You are defeated when you quit;” many of us call it quits when we lose either because we are afraid of failing again or putting in the effort again.  When I used this quote on my senior page I used it because I inadvertently live by those words. My whole life whenever I fall I muster up enough courage to get back up. Falling is a part of life for me, whether it is a bruise to my head, an insult to my self- esteem, or negative thinking, I get pushed down quite a bit. I am blessed with being resilient enough that getting back up is intuitive for me. But for most getting back up is a more arduous decision.

When I applied to college I submitted a poem patterned on Maya Angelou’s Still I Rise; aside from it being a phenomenal poem it reveals the great perseverance of the human spirit.  Although this poem is a personification of slavery, a similar version can be applied to our lives now.  Everyone goes through trials and tribulations, some worse than others, some more painful than others, and some longer than others, but this does not diminish the severity of the hardship.  So if one can consider this analogy of slavery and see that in spite of all the beatings, shame, and sneers slaves went through the black race thrives and stands tall and applies it to their own life, one can overcome the fear of losing.

The more failures increase the probability of success

The more failures increase the probability of success

I remember coming across a quote while watching a movie, “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”  Though this is a very simplistic quote it is very profound.  It is applicable to everyone on a very personal level; fear is one of the things that detracts us from trying and trying again.  The wording of this quote seems to make it about a sporting game, but it can be extrapolated to have a wider meaning vis a vie ‘we shouldn’t let our fear of losing, getting rejected, or getting hurt stop us from trying.’

These three verses are inspirational and logical words that can empower us when we feel we are defeated.  When we fail or lose at our first attempt to do something we often feel disheartened and lose the desire to try again. When we share our opinion, try to make a sale, try to sing a karaoke song, or make a comment on social media and fail vis a vie receiving a response of ridicule, not meeting expectations, or lose we become disinclined to try again. When I try to kick a ball, hit a ball with a tennis racket, write one page legibly, or play a timed game of Sudoku and lose, fall, or am not able to do it I used to feel ashamed and often got angry at myself, everyone around me, and the game I failed at.  Now I am a bit more patient and my anger has diminished due to the understanding that I can only do the best I can.

 

Your will can move mountains

Your will can move mountains

Losing in public makes it harder to dust off our pants and try again as there is that additional component of having our ego wounded.  Losing at something when there are no witnesses is upsetting, as the only expectation we fail to meet is our own, but when we fail in public we not only fail ourselves but also feel embarrassed. Trying again despite the damage to our ego and pride strengthens character and fortitude.  Trying again brings us one step closer to breaking out of the chains laden with others’ perception that we shackle ourselves with and one step closer to living for ourselves.

 

The road that leads to success halts at failure for a final Will call and check

The road that leads to success halts at failure for a final Will call and check

If we let our failures defeat us we become defeatists and will soon assume the philosophy of ‘why bother.’ In high school my friend said something to me that I thought was very profound then; ‘practice makes perfect; but why bother practice if we can not be perfect?’ Perfection is subjective, and being perfect is a term relative to one’s effort. If one has the will and desire continue pursuing something until accomplishment perfection can be possible, but if one quits out of fear or offence failure is impending.

When we try again after we lose, fail, or make a mistake we increase our chances of succeeding; if we don’t we are letting our failures define us.  Every second try is an opportunity to learn something new, do it a different way. So don’t be afraid of who is judging you or how you appear; give yourself a second chance at success.

 With willpower success is inevitable

With willpower success is inevitable

 

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Newton’s law of karma: Hinduism’s law of motion

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who knew Dominos was a game of Karma?

who knew Dominos was a game of Karma?

Science has explained that when any object exerts a force, it is met with an equal and opposite force.  The collision of these two forces result in a movement.  The study of this movement is largely carried out by physicists, most notable of whom gave us our 3rd law of motion: for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.  The application of this law extends beyond observable actions, such as a fish swimming in water, but affects our thoughts and has an implication in reincarnation.

The notion of reincarnation assumes that each life is a progression of the soul and the Law of Karma is the equalizer of that notion.  Like Newton’s law, the Law of Karma is a law produced by cause and effect. Actions we perform initiate reactions from other people, nature, or from ourselves. Reactions can be observed within minutes, days, years, or lifetimes.  Once we initiate an action, it is recorded in our ‘karmic bank account’ and considering the intent and outcome associated with our action, we receive either good or bad karma.

A boy jumping on the ground is a movement resulting from his jumping force; this force, coupled with the force the ground exerts to push him up results in his movement upwards; this is the law of motion. Intention is a major factor when assessing the karmic value of an action. Him jumping into the middle of the street to save a child is entirely different from him jumping over a fence to get away from the police.

People say that karma is ‘a bitch’. Yes. She is the bitch that bites back, but why? Because we make it so.   It is the man himself who prompts his suffering; every act, word, and thought has a rippling effect; it is this rippling effect that produces karma. So the cause(us) creates the effect (the outcome) and the outcome (the effect of the initial action) acts upon the initial cause (us.) Let me give you an example: when I was in law school I had a professor who after grading one of my first assignments predicted that I would fail out of her class and made other hurtful remarks. Several months later she was diagnosed with cancer.  Thus, she (cause) was rude and inappropriate which (effect) made myself and others doubt our own abilities.  Then she received a diagnosis of cancer (effect) which produced the same anguish and doubt (cause) for her. I’m not certain if this was a genetic limbo or the karmic hand, but I do know she will ‘reap what she has sowed.’

Every time we think, speak, or act we create an observable or unobservable effect.  We unleash an energy into the universe and that same energy finds its way back to us in some form; hence the saying we reap what we sow.  Sourced from the Bhagvad Gita, past Karma predetermines four main aspects of our lives: our birth family, our income level, our education level, and our physical appearance. Just these four factors have a very strong influence on our lives, and then, in addition, we struggle with karmic reactions daily. Although Karma does not eradicate free will, the Vedic texts do tell us that ‘actions are guided by the Law of Karma and free will is very limited.’

Hinduism believes that all souls are eternal and are stuck in this vicious cycle of rebirth: samsara.  Every life is not only a progression of our soul, but is determined by past karmas; good karma elicits good fortune while bad karma results in misery and misfortune.  Although this is far from the complete understanding of Karma, I am not here to preach or promote Hinduism; I am here to heighten the awareness of YOUR soul and internal power. So act consciously because the love, hate, manipulation, or compassion you give to others is what you will get back; in this life or the next.

Please visit http://hinduism.iskcon.org/concepts/103.htm for more information on karma.

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When prejudice become practice

Prejudice
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Prejudice

Prejudice turns us against eachother

If you are like most people you will deny that you are prejudice. What is prejudice? It’s an intolerance, a bias, or even a disliking that we have. It is natural to have prejudices, but becomes problematic when we become offensive or discriminatory based on them. People learn prejudicial behavior, and if we repeatedly reject or condemn something due to our prejudgments the behavior is strengthened and becomes a form of hate. People generally are scared of what they don’t know and hence construct an opinion based on their notion. If one is too scared, hesitant, or unaware of how to cope with something forming a preconceived notion is the easiest way to understanding that thing.

When I was in high school, my classmates used to call and my lazy and drunk. If you read my story you know that I have a condition and comments like this are hurtful, at the least. My classmates did not know what to make of my abnormal gait, so based on the knowledge available to them [most kids at that age drink and intoxication produces abnormal gait] they jumped to the most logical conclusion [she must be drunk]. Why do people feel the necessity to pass negative comments about what they don’t know? If something is different or deviates from the norm, the instinctive reaction is to condemn it.

Prejudice narrows our vision to Include things we dislike

Prejudice narrows our vision to Include things we dislike

When you force yourself out the natural tendency to form prejudgments you liberate your mind from the bonds that preconceived notions form. Permitting your mind to create, imagine, and think of outcomes different from what your experience says, you allow for a more positive understanding of the outcome. If you form a prejudice based on fear or experience you limit yourself to the negative possibilities that ruminate in your mind. So liberate yourself and start expecting unexpected outcomes.

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