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Letting go

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As much as we hit the control button, we can never claim control

As much as we hit the control button, we can never claim control

Many of us worry abput losing control. I know that I can be charertarized as a Type A personality control freak, but my recent experiences in yoge, mmeditaion, spirituality, and a technology limited existence have led me to an understanding that loosening up on the reigns is ok.  I thought I needed the answers to every question that could be asked of me: who, what, when, where, why and how did this happen.  This need may be intrinsic to euntraprenureal blood because as I look at my parents and siblings the need is the same.

When we loosen up on the reigns and lose a bit of the control which we feel keeps our life in order we are actually regaining the control we lost in our early childhood. The reigns we hold are material and the harder we hold will not help us live our lives more peacefully, elongate our lives, or make us more happy.  The reigns are ephemeral just like everything else in life and the harder we try to steer the more hurdles we will have to maneuver.  When we were children life seemed to flow; we didn’t think about who, what, when, where, why, and how things happened we just did what we needed or wanted and didn’t worry about who had the control.

Once we relax and open ourselves up to possibility we realize the need to be in control is a futile and taxing effort that keeps our mind and bodies under stress.  We hold onto the reigns so tightly and become so

I am pulling back on the reigns, so why am I lunging forward?

I am pulling back on the reigns, so why am I lunging forward?

rigid and particular about how, when, and where we want things that we become so focused and tunnel visioned that we forget to look at and appreciate other possibilities.  If we let go of our control our mind will open up to possibility, we open ourselves up to chance thus be part of different positive experiences. As most of the people who know me can attest to I am the most stringent of persons; professionally, I run a tight ship and never let up the precision; personally, there is a certain way and time to do everything.  Not only can this way of thinking be exhausting to yourself and others which produces negativity, but it is quite impossible to package everything into tidy little squares. Being anal makes me successful at implementing procedures and following proceeses, but unsuccessful at relationships.  You need malleability when being with people, when living life, a characteristic being anal prevents you from developing.

Letting go entails some kind of faith, because if you let go you are trusting that someone will be there to take a grip on the reins for you.  Whether you are letting go of control, a past injustice, or an intolerance, we are giving up the aforementioned items to someone.  Whether or not we acknowledge that ‘someone or thing’  letting go benefits us as it lightens the load on our minds, hearts, and souls.  Holding onto unnecessary burdens or frivolous thoughts waste our energy, time, and use up precious space in our bodies. Anger towards the person who is responsible for losing your laptop, resentment towards a parent for not giving you what you needed, or hatred for a co-worker who made a mean comment about you is one of the many ways we make negative the potential positivity.

Negativity accumulates in the body just as fat accumulates in the gut.

Letting go of the anger, pain, and regret that we hold so tightly

Letting go of the anger, pain, and regret that we hold so tightly

We can break up the dark spots of negativity by learning to let go.  Forgivesness, compassion, and gratitude are examples of artillery we can use to combat the blemishes that stain our heart.  Learning to let go of the need to get even, leaning to understand others, and learning that even the smallest action is worth noting are ways to lessen the burden we carry and thus ease our bodies. “Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the behavior, it just prevents that behavior from destroying your heart” similarly being grateful snd compassionate are ways to broaden your scope and is not about the others’ behavior.

Letting go is a sign of the strength in your person, not the weakness as the phrase connotes.  Forgiving entails letting go of the anger, resentment, and hatred we accumulate in response to a person that did us wrong. Just like any particle that stays in storage for too long, our negativity rots and starts producing hazardous chemicles that affects other   bodily and mind functions. Gratitude lets us appreciate even the smallest acts so we are able to let go of wasteful and meaningless emotions.  When you realize no event is ever independent, being grateful becomes easier and thus the letting go of our rigid needs, wants, and desires begins.  Compassion allows us to understand the others perspective, so once we can learn to be compassionate we can let go of our fusteration with others, our impatience with others, and our inflexible views.

Learning to let go lets us live peacefully rather than wrestling with what are position should be in so to be peaceful.  Sound minds and bodies are created when we learn to let go.  Sometimes we wonder how we can let go because the action of another is so hurtful; letting go is not synonymous with forgetting it is simply a cathartic release of the negativity we associate with events, persons, or places.  By letting go you are not ridiculing, minimalizing, or erasing what happened you are simply deciding not to let those frusterations, fears, prejudices, and anger dictate how you live today.

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